One day at a time

[sadhearted]

7,

I'm trying I really am but it just feels like he doesn't want me there and it makes me sad. It makes me sad for him and for me. She was the one person in his family that always accepted me and loved me. It's just hard knowing that this is happening. She may come out of this and be okay and she may not. Just sad. I'm sitting here crying as I'm typing and I need to stop so my kids don't start worrying.

I know everyone's situations are different and who knows how mine will end. It's just really sad seeing so many all at the same time going the wrong direction.

[789]

The one thing that is weird is I am not sad, I am angry right at the moment. I just cannot understand her reasoning in her head, but then again not sure if I would want too.

[sadhearted]

Maybe you have to get angry before you get sad. I've been told it's okay to get angry it's all part of the process.

Yeah you probably don't want to know what's in her head. Talk about getting more confused. My H was always telling me I didn't want to know what was running thru his head. Some statements I've heard him say make absolutely no sense to anyone else but to him they make perfect sense.

[789]

Well I have had the sad stage before, I don't want to go there. Anger at least keeps me from crying and getting emotional.

[sadhearted]

Yeah I didn't know I had so many tears in me.

[789]

I think I finally stopped crying when all the beer I have drank over a lifetime ran out.

Will keep my sense of humor either way.

[sadhearted]

I could go for some booze right about now. Would beat crying.

There ya go. That's something you can control.

[789]

I could go for some booze right about now. Would beat crying.

Okay, serious 789 here..... No it doesn't.

[sadhearted]

Yeah I know. Just sometimes it'd be nice to be able to not feel like this.

Guess I'll be going with him again tomorrow evening to see his grandma. At least as of right now.

[789]

Yeah I know. Just sometimes it'd be nice to be able to not feel like this.

Completely different reasons if you read my first thread, but that is what got me in this situation. Not feeling, anything.