I, unfortunately, know more about sexual addiction than I would like to. H told me that he thought he might be a sex addict, so I did some research on it, but now he says he's not. Whatever - he doesn't even know what's going on his own head.
In any case, it is treatable, and it seems that it is not the same as other addictions because it is easier to stay away from the source (i.e. porn). If one is addicted to food, for example, it's impossible to stay away from it completely. Obviously, B can't stay away from sex completely, but if he figures out what his triggers are, it will help.
Lisa, my heart goes out to you. This is so difficult, but the good news is that, if he is a sex addict, he CAN be treated and, more importantly, he WANTS to be treated. This is much less intractable than MLC or than a psych problem like narcissism.
Honey, I know you love this man. It sounds to me like he really does love you, too, but he just can't control himself. I am not trying to justify his behaviour, but just to make sense of it. I do see hope for you. If it is an addiction, it would explain why he came back to you and then left. The idea of not "using" you for things that would give him satisfaction, but not you, only makes sense if he really loves and respects you.
I would suggest letting him go to this new T alone, and then - if the T agrees that that is the problem - going as a couple. That way, you can ask all the questions you have of an expert, and in front of B, so he won't feel like you're hiding anything.
I do wish you the best, and in the meantime, I'm sending you big (((hugs))).
~ Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
