Hi again. I am concerned for your W. She seems very obsessed with all of this. I can understand why this would do a number on her self-esteem, and if she had any problems in that area before, she certainly would now! However, this all sounds so unhealthy for her. IMHO she does need a professional! She needs someone to guide her through all of this.
The other concern I have is for you. Because I have been in shoes like yours. I know the power of the "drug". Especially since you are not having regular sex and you are so frustrated in the M, you are likely to return to the problem that started all of this. That is not to say you should blame your W and return to the internet. However, your sexual desires are not being fulfilled and it is going to do a number on your self-control.
I know different people have different ideas about the Playboy mags. However, since your W is struggling in all of this, and since you have admitted to having a weakness in this area, why have this hook/bait laying around to snare you in?
Let's get down to the bottom line here. Just how far are you and your W willing to go to save your M? Are you willing to get rid of the computer? If you don't have to have it for your job...are you willing to let it go in order to save your marriage? Or........are both of you addicted to the internet? I'm not suggesting the sex sites.....just the internet. You see, my H said he would throw this computer out the back door if he found where I had contacted the OM or been on another sex site. So, that is how far he was willing to go, and I knew he meant every word of it. Ask her if she will let the computer go. Could she feel better then? See what she will say, but be prepared to follow up with getting rid of it. If she can't...then I would suggest that she has a serious addiction of her own. It is called computer surfing.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
