Well, I'm not sure, but I would guess that she is going through a lot of mental and emotional stuff. As Michelle's book indicates, we WAW wait until we are nearly out the door and then the H gets his wake-up call and starts a 180 and this confuses the W. She doesn't know if there is a place in her heart because she is confused and not sure of what she wants at this point.

It's not fair to you, because you never know what she is thinking or how she may be feeling the next half of the day. I can just try to enourage you to act as her closest friend...not what the H wants, but what she needs right now...no pressure...just be calm and collected. I know it is the pitts! But, I think Michelle's book...DR has very good advice if you can just adhere to it.

I am sure you desparately want to see any signs of "hope"...but please just try to do as I have suggested. It is hard to explain how it affects a woman that is ready to run, but it is like poison to her. It is like when she sees the hope in your eyes or voice....it acts like a threat to her. It pressures her. To you, logic dictates she would "like" to see you encouraged and hope in you...but it works the opposite way. I know...it doesn't make sense. The wonderful differences between the sexes.

The day my husband could let me talk to him without becoming angry at me, and without judging me, and without getting his hopes jacked-up....and BTW, I could "see" it in his eys...the sencerity....I felt like I could "trust" him to express my feelings. I felt like he was my friend. That is what she needs now.

Now, the question to you is this....can you stay in it for the long haul? It takes a lot of patience. It goes against everything your nature is feeling on the inside of you. Is she worth it? Is your marriage worth it? If so, then you will find the strength to do it.

Last edited by sandi2; 07/23/07 10:13 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!