I don't remember sex, but let me share a "what if" for you to consider.
What is rape? My understanding is that most often it is a crime of anger against women and not a crime of lust. There may be reasons he could not relate to you in the same way he 'needed' to relate to these women. You are a symbol of motherhood, something pure. These women were open season for his release of some kind of demon.
Did your H hate himself so badly that he had to own and abuse women to feel better about himself? Maybe
Did it work and solve his internal issues? Think not.
What was your H using these women for? How did he feel about himself prior, and after? He needs to get this all out with the T. You need to know what the T thinks at some point if you are going to consider continuing the M. He needs to find another way to deal with those demons beside cheating. You can't be that kind of victim for him as a solution. If he can't find a way to cope with this addiction, he is no better for you than a person addicted to hard core drugs, or rape for that matter.
I think a lot of your answers lie in what the T says. Should you delay the D? I think you need to let the T know that there is a very short window of opportunity here for you to get some professional perspective on what is going on. Is he being honest, or trying to fool everyone? What is at the root of this behavior, and can it be treated? If so, how long should you expect him to spend outside the M getting his help? How will you get some kind of assurance that the treatment is working? What book would the T suggest you read to understand him better?
Sorry to think this, but many addictions result in a life long treatment of one day at a time. Can a T tell you this will be any different? Will you be able to accept that as an answer? Would you be able to accept him as a recovering addict of any other kind, one day at a time? This comes down to being more about you than him.
