Because I so purposefully set about detaching myself from the relationship emotionally, I have this sense that beyond infatuation or chemical attraction which one is always able to discount or rationalize or get over, love is always a choice and therefore only exists if you will it, not as something alive and free in the world.
This was interesting. I did the same thing (purposeful detachment) when my H left and it worked well for the time. Had my own "magnetic" sex with alpha guy. But imagine then making the decision to get back together with your ex. Your point about choosing to love is right on. It is incredibly hard at times and it is a choice that takes plenty of will. Just because it didn't work out with your H doesn't mean that you don't have it in you to love. I still say enjoy playing the field for a while. It's less stressful than maintaining even the best of R's. Love takes tons of work that you just may not be ready for. Enjoy the infatuation stage. Enjoy the hot sex! LFL
Would you tell these friends who you were sleeping with if he wasn't the least bit famous?
Well, believe it or not, in real life I rarely just call people up and babble at them randomly about my life. However, if I made plans to get together with someone or encountered them otherwise, I would probably openly babble about whatever guy I was seeing.
Quote:
But imagine then making the decision to get back together with your ex.
Well, I will never get back together with my ex, so I guess our situations aren't that similar. I would rather walk barefoot over a landscape of broken glass in the scorching heat of hell's furnace with my eyelids pinned open and all manner of pestilence crawling over my body than get back together with my ex, so....I guess really I do have some sort of feeling for him still. Sort of the feeling you get when you open up some Tupperware that has been in the back of the fridge since Thanksgiving and now it's Easter.
Quote:
Enjoy the infatuation stage. Enjoy the hot sex!
Shall do. - lol
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I rarely just call people up and babble at them randomly about my life.
Don't you have a special girlfriend or girlfriends that you call a lot, meet for lunch, go shopping with, and just generally chat about stuff that's going on in your life? Maybe that function is fulfilled by your sister(s)? Have you told your sister(s) about him, including Who He Is?
You're not one of those women who can't be friends with other women, are you?
Don't you have a special girlfriend or girlfriends that you call a lot, meet for lunch, go shopping with, and just generally chat about stuff that's going on in your life? Maybe that function is fulfilled by your sister(s)? Have you told your sister(s) about him, including Who He Is?
Pretty much those functions are filled by my sisters but I usually have an extra female friend or two I hang out with semi-regularly and I have the usual assortment of old high school/ college/ had babies together/ work friends I keep in semi-touch with. I pretty much tell my sisters everything and they actually are semi-amazed that their dorky big sister is dating someone with such unlikely coolness. So, I would say that I'm definitely not the kind of woman who can't be friends with other women but it's just not a real high priority for me. I like for my friends to be playmates ( go hiking, go see a show) or mindmates (talk about books, politics etc.)so I'm just as likely to hang out with men as women in any social environment.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Mojo, if she wants, can now add me to her list of 'odd assortment' of friends. I got to meet her today... and I have to say, she is every bit as cool as you would imagine her to be. To me, she looks exactly like she does in her pictures, her personality, to me, is true to form as it is here on the boards... and she is FAR more beautiful than she would EVER give herself credit for!!
She's tons of fun... and finally meeting someone you've corresponded with for so long is a real treat. We gabbed and gabbed and gabbed...
I also think it is absolutely hysterical that she calls me by my screen name rather than my real name... LOL! Which is fine... quite honestly, I've gotten so used to being called 'Corri' in print and in my mind... even regarding myself in that fashion, that if I am out and about and I hear someone say 'Corri,' I will turn my head to answer...
Anyway, Mo, thanks for the afternoon... hope we get to do it again soon...
Thank you for the kind words, Corri (I am such a space cadet. You even reminded me about your real name and I just kept calling you Corri, didn't I. ROTFLMAO at myself.)
Corri, as you all may have guessed is the epitome of cute, sassy and smart. Every guy on this BB would probably want to put her in his pocket and take her home if they met her because she is just gorgeous. However, I must report that in real life she does not wear pointy shoes although she does sport some red nail polish with a certain attitude. I would be honored to have her join my most SPECIAL assortment of friends- the ones that are not just "good company" but "the best company".
Thank you for a super fun afternoon of real reality!
P.S. New guy responded to my e-mail in the most perfect manner. I have decided to allow myself to be thoroughly infatuated.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
P.S. New guy responded to my e-mail in the most perfect manner. I have decided to allow myself to be thoroughly infatuated.
Most excellent. I can't think of a more thoroughly delicious distraction for you!! Can't help but wonder how that story unwinds... oh the mind takes flight... but you need to come up with a better name than 'new guy.' I mean, heck, even 'Hank' would be better... though on second thought, I suppose that name really doesn't 'fit.' Dirk, maybe. So he can 'stab' you with his 'love muscle...' (peels of glorious girl giggles with a high five slap)
I am now off for my first ballroom dance competition, and will be sporting long red nails and a leopard latin dress. Gulp. Jesus, I hope I have the balls to pull it off...
Corri
P.S. I almost wore pointy shoes just for sh!ts and giggles...
To me, she looks exactly like she does in her pictures, her personality, to me, is true to form as it is here on the boards... and she is FAR more beautiful than she would EVER give herself credit for!!