This IS by far the hardest, most painful and most trying thing you will go through (well....short of things happening to your kids). It will try you beyond what you think you can stand and you will try to make sense of the senseless. You won;t find ANY sense in it...trust me.
What I CAN tell you is that there WILL come a day, regardless of the outcome, where you will sit back and take stock of your life and realize a few things:
1) Life is short and it is up to you what you make of it...consider that you were alone before you met your wife and family, and you were fine....you will be again
2) Take this as a wake up call and strengthen your relationships with your kids - you will find a new joy that you didn't think was possible amidst all the pain and heartache you are now experiencing
3) IF it does not work out, chances are you will detach to the point where you can look at your R with a fresh perspective and you may actually find that you have been liberated
4) Even when all seems lost (as in my case) and you think it's all over, you will be surprised at what happens months down the road Amazing things can happen
5) If it is to work out, you will have to go through the process that things have to go through.....take it as a personal vacation...time to work on you and find your own personal happiness...then, when your spouse returns, you will be a lot more pleasant to be around
It's hard, I know...so I won't try to blow sunshine up the you know what. Simply know that you WILL get through this. Consider a heavy storm.....what can you do to stop or assuage it's onslaught? Nothing....all you can do is hunker down and ride it out.....sooner or later the storm will subside and the sunshine will come out again. It's just plain nature. You'll be OK!
Good luck....we've all been where you are now, and for mthe most part we are all OK now, or getting better by the day.
Amazing things can happen