Because I so purposefully set about detaching myself from the relationship emotionally, I have this sense that beyond infatuation or chemical attraction which one is always able to discount or rationalize or get over, love is always a choice and therefore only exists if you will it, not as something alive and free in the world.
This was interesting. I did the same thing (purposeful detachment) when my H left and it worked well for the time. Had my own "magnetic" sex with alpha guy. But imagine then making the decision to get back together with your ex. Your point about choosing to love is right on. It is incredibly hard at times and it is a choice that takes plenty of will. Just because it didn't work out with your H doesn't mean that you don't have it in you to love. I still say enjoy playing the field for a while. It's less stressful than maintaining even the best of R's. Love takes tons of work that you just may not be ready for. Enjoy the infatuation stage. Enjoy the hot sex! LFL
