CVA - Thread 2, Hold mode

[Not Much Left]

Yep
She actually went and saw my counselor (after I suggested it to help me with my issues) without telling me she was going.

Then I had the "bad day" when I went to see what she said. The C basically said, I think she is waiting for you to take action, file or whatever, it was totally unclear. She is happy on the fence and living life the way she is living it. I believe this was all his interpretation cuz when I pressed him on what she actually said "not much really". I concluded I had led him to a lot of his conclusions about her being happy in our lifestyle that I was providing and that she is not really anxious to do anything one way or another.

I came away from that pretty upset, not knowing what was really said, so I am taking Nomo up on his suggestion of a C that I can hopefully get W to go see as well under the guidelines you all point out above.

So, long way of saying, I will be trying what you both suggest.

Thanks for keeping up w/ me.

Hey, are you guys in Orlando? I thought that was August? Or is it Austing or some other DBing trip that was kept double top secret!!!

CVA

[Not Much Left]

Forgot to mention and I have not mentioned it before.

W's ring actually broke while she was in Dallas last month. She showed interest in getting it fixed, it has since been fixed, she got it back last week and put it back on. At least she didnt keep it off. Not reading anthing more into it other than she certainl could have kept it off.

[Gone Dancin']

A total plus on the ring thing IMO -- that would definitely keep my PMA in the "cup half full" department!

Orlando is the weekend of 8/11 -- are you going? That would be awesome, CVA!

Enjoy the rest of your Monday!

GD

[Heimlich]

Awesome on the ring. My W took hers off about 6 weeks ago. Hurt everytime I caught a glimpse of her hand all last week.
BD

[Not Much Left]

Thanks GD & H!
Trying to figure out Orlando w/ my work sched right now. Kinda hectic. Just announced a deal we are trying to finance, hence my week away last week.

CVA

[GoodGuy]

My wife doesn't wear her ring either, yet I still do!
Do any of you ever let the thought cross your mind to let your wife go? Lately, it has been happening to me.
I've been doing a great job DBing, I love her very much and want her back. But sometimes I think, well maybe I should take my ring off and look for someone new. But of course that feeling passes, and I want my wife back again.
I was just wondering if I'm the only one who thinks that way?

[Heimlich]

GoodGuy,

Yeah, that thought crosses my mind once or twice a day. I entertain the thought for a moment, realize it's not valid yet, and go about my day.

I also have the occassional fantasy of giving her my ring back, having her tearfully ask me to stay, and then leave without looking back. Not a pretty part of myself, but it does feel good to indulge in the fantasy for a minute or two before realizing that's not remotely what I want.

BD

[Gone Dancin']

it does feel good to indulge in the fantasy for a minute or two before realizing that's not remotely what I want.

or likely how it would work, H! The fantasy is definitely indulging, though (feels good to hold the reigns for a minute anyway, even if it is false)!

GG,

Like H says, indulging in the notion doesn't hurt, and only act upon it if you KNOW that this is what you want to do both now and forever in the future. This is almost a "point of no return" thing to do. Many months before I found the website and read DR, I took the ring off and filed for D, simply to try and get her attention and cause her to realize that I'm moving on and that this isn't what she really wants. However, it backfired and now I'm stuck with the D proceedings (final Aug 16th). I didn't want it, so now just make sure you've done everything you're willing to do to save your M before throwing in the towel. Find your where your line is and draw it. Be ready to have no regrets on the throwing in of the towel, because they will haunt you (trust me!).

CVA,

Trying to figure out Orlando w/ my work sched right now. Kinda hectic.

Work schedule, smwork schedule -- just make it happen!

GD

[GoodGuy]

My wife just called me and I could tell she'd been crying. My son has just let her know that she is the evil one, she's the one that left, and he asked her if she wants to find someone else or be alone for the rest of her life.
I told her that it's not coming from me, I praise her, no bad words out of me about her.
She reminded me that she is not evil, that she put up with crap for YEARS, it takes two to make it work and two to screw it up she said.
I told her that my son and I are the ones who want it to work, she's the odd one out on it, if it came down to a vote, we would be a family again.
She told me she really doesn't think anything will change about her feelings.
My son and I are leaving Wednesday for 2 weeks vacation. I am going to take my ring off for those two weeks and see where it leads me. She's only been gone (out of the house)for just over 3 weeks, but I'm not sure how long I want to wait?
I need answers.
GD, I work with a guy who also filed for divorce from his WAW, neither one showed up for the hearing, so it got shelved.
They are now back together. I also play cards every Wednesday with another guy who's wife left, filed, but never went through with it either, and they are now back together. So, it ain't over for you yet brother, keep the faith.
BD, I like your fantasy idea. I had a dream I was walking through an outdoor restaurant with a hot brunette and my wife was there with friends. I woke up, don't know what happened!

[Not Much Left]

GG
Why not just go on vaca and enjoy with your son. Ring on or off it does not matter. This is pretty fresh, yes? It os going to take time. Feelings come back, trust me. She fell in love once, feeling just showed up then and they can come back too.