It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Dom R]

Him-"I could not go and things would be happy, peachy keen for awhile, but then I think I would end up unhappy again. The only way I will know for sure is to do this."

INteresting... sounds like he's only borderline MLC, not fully wallowing in it.

Please dont push him over the edge now.
Like you said.. he flip-flops, between noticing you, and being irrational. in the rational times, is when you have to talk to him. in the irrational stages.. DONT TALK TO HIM. just avoid him as much as possible.
Some people say, they can recognize when "the alien spouse" comes out. I'm no good at it. but maybe you can learn better.. being female an all



Suggested talks for you; something along the lines of,


How do people who get married to their "first love", and stay together for 60 years, do it?

silly example:
If the guy marries a blonde, and he suddenly wonders 10 years in.. "Hmm.. ya know.. maybe i should have married a brunette instead.... they're less high-maintainance, ..."

Does he need to go and date a brunette for 6 months, "to be sure"?

(hint: the answer is "no"
I think it then becomes a matter of whether you make suggestions to him, or whether you try to elicit suggestions out of him, as to what this guy should do. The answers will then be very relevant to your situation!

He also said that he is trying to distance himself so that he can go thru with his decision.

I think that's a little part of him yelling at you what he needs.
He needs to NOT be distanced from you

I'd suggest listening to what he's telling you more closely this time.
that is to say: stop making it so easy for him to be distancing himself. Dont be clingy... but at the same time, I think you are doing the RIGHT thing, by making yourself "available" to him.
(booty-call, especially)

I think that you would do well to try to figure out ways to entice him, to do more stuff together. fun stuff.

here's a wild and crazy thought... find out where he is going bar-hopping one night.

Then get a wig, and dress up really sexy. Slutty even, if he's the type to go for that. Something that looks completely different from anything you'd ever normally wear. heavy makeup
Then go sneak in, and see if you get his attention, and come on to him, without him realizing it is you, for as long as possible.

(dont forget to change your voice. high to low, or vice versa)

sound like a fun challege?

side note: damn.. next month, is our 10th anniversary too. sigh.
wonder if I can get her to do something for it...


PS: in the "booty call department".. also maybe think of doing a 180 in that area... if you're rarely aggressive with it.. then, one time after he starts it... go for it, and show him how much you "want him" (and are going to "have" him!). Contrariwise, if you're usually fairly active... one time, try to play the helpless, submissive "oh my, i'm simply all limp and helpless from your masculinity, have your way with me" role