Some people will not go to counselling. period. (my wife is one of them. sigh).
The most important thing here, is that *you* know what it would take for you to be comfortable about him moving in again.
Never, ever, do the "i think you need more time" thing again Right now, think about what you want from him, to move back in. if it ever comes back up, say, "this is what I would need for you".
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle