Sorry that you had to see him this weekend. You did fine--no one ever said this stuff was easy.
My D day was a whole year after separation, and six months after she filed. We had gone round and round with the settlement, and I was so ready to be done with it. I didn't break down in court or anything, but I do recall taking the rest of the day off and curling up in the fetal position on my couch, getting up only for a large bowl of ice cream.
Signing the papers will be tough, the court date will be tough (whether you go or not), getting the final papers...refinancing the house.... Each event triggered by the D will be a reminder, but it will get progressively easier.
I'm trying...I do really well until I see him and then all the emotions hit me. I guess that's what happens when you are the one that thought that you had a good marriage. It's all tough, but what choice to I have but pick up the pieces. I can't make him into this great husband. He would have had to do that on his own, and he just doesn't have that in him.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Thanks husband. It's funny how everyone has started to call me hope or hopeful rather than hopeless...you guys must be able to see more hope than me. At least, I feel like everyone on here is standing beside me and supporting that this is what I need to get my life and dignity back and that I deserve better than this. I definately feel like I lost the battle...I lost my husband, my friend, my life as I knew it, my dreams, my future. I feel like OW won, but like you said, she only won the battle...she will lose the war and I'm the one that is going to come out ahead. I'll keep fighting this war until I can look back at this and see why it all happened and say it was all worth it (or at least I can hope).
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry. I agree with husband about winning with honor and dignity. keep fighting for yourself. you are worth so much more than you have been treated. stay strong.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Thanks Morgan. I have been with my H since I was 16, so this is the only serious relationship that I have been in. I have never been through a breakup, let alone something this hard. I still have so many feelings for my H that I need to get over.
Last edited by hopeless11; 07/23/0705:31 PM.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hope- There is an intangible value to knowing that you did the right thing and you gave your best effort to save your marriage. That is what I (and probably most people here) hang their hat on. Chin up, and hang in there. This is a messy business that we on this thread are involved in.
I had my appointment with the attorney today. He was very nice and didn't even charge me for the half hour. He also said H's attorney was very reputable and a decent guy...he wouldn't try to slide anything under the table. The attorney looked over the papers and said that they looked pretty good. A couple of things that he pointed out that I need to check into..
1. No copy of the Divorce Petition was included. Only a copy of the Dissolution of Marriage. He wanted me to request this from my H's attorney. Any thoughts? 2. Our property is under two separate deeds. The acreage that the house sits on is lumped in with the mortgage and then we have 5 more acres that are under their own deed (paid for). The dissolution shows "the marital residence, all ground, and out buildings located at xxxx" is awarded to me. The attorney was a little concerned about the separate deeds and said I should request that a legal description of the property be added. I really don't want to rock the boat with H and just let this go if I can assume that "all ground" will cover both pieces since they are right next to each other. Thoughts? 3. He said there is no clause that says all personal property now in possession is yours. I think that this is find to ignore. 4. The Entry of Appearance, Waiver, & Consent is missing a line that states the judgement is attached. Anyone have any suggestions for if I should sign this waiver or not. He said that I could sign the Dissolution of Marriage and appear in court. He didn't recommend signing this waiver unless referance to the Dissolution is attached?
Does anyone with any legal background have any advice? I am getting more than my fair share and don't want to cause problems with my H. I would like to just sign these papers and move on.
On a side note, I am back to being furious with H. Found out that he brought OW with him again this weekend. I guess he hid her up somewhere while he was here. Who knows maybe he even took her to the wedding. I think that she even went horseback riding with H, H's nephew, and BIL....unbelievable...I guess she has been accepted with open arms. All I can say is that I deserve better. I do better when I am mad at him, so here I am staying strong.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I don't have a legal background, obviously. I guess if I were you I'd look at what is the maximum damage he could do with the items you mentioned. Compared to what you are getting.
As I said, the lawyer wouldn't be doing his job if he didn't find problems.
Do go ahead and ask his L for a copy of the petition. You can pick it up when you drop off the papers.
