For me, love IS always a choice and for me that doesn't lessen the intensity or specialness of it at all. Of course I believe that it must start with some spark, special connection and feeling but from there it really does become something that you choose. You can choose to look at your partner's idiosyncrasies as either annoying or adorable. For some people (Raven's XW being one) that is utterly unromantic. But to me it IS romantic. To me there is nothing romantic about someone ditching a relationship in times of trouble. romantic IS dealing with the difficulties of REAL life.
I guess I have a slightly different take on the "choice" issue than you given my history. You know that horrible old expression "It's as easy to love a rich man as a poor one.", I guess I am operating in the mode of telling myself "It's as easy to love someone who will be good for you as someone who will make you feel like cr*p.". It's impossible to discount or dismiss issues of compatibility or basic attraction but I want to tread wisely within that realm. One complication with the guy I am dating now is that, as I mentioned previously, he actually is kind of semi-famous in a certain arena of absolute coolness so this adds some ego issues for me along the lines of "Why in the h*ck is he dating me?" Of course, the answer almost certainly is "Because he is really just as dorky as you in spite of his reputation for coolness."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
