jak 58, I have been with my husband for 29 years similiar to your sitch. Found out he was having A for last 11 months foundout 2 months ago. he moved out 2 weeks ago. H possibly having MLC for past 7 years, always been a flirt. I Have to work on GAL i always depended on him for my happiness, which was not healthy.
Cadsmom, Glad you had a good web/cam date where is your husband deployed to. I was doing really well with DBing until yesterday when he came over but i flipped out cuz he stayed on compter for 2 hours and I worried what he was doing. Hard to trust him since A discovered He left mad and in a hurry. havent called him since 8pm yesterday waiting for him to call my 13 year old son. Was thinking maybe i should apologize for yelling. I have to GAL. He doesnt wear his ring either for past month.
Yes we can not control them, but we can control our selves. Yes he was on the computer. You had no control over that. But you did have control over your comments. I just phoned my W about having to go to the doctor. She seemed concerned. It would have been so easy to say something like "you said you don't love me any more, why do you care?" (I did think it) but I didn't say it. I WAS IN CONTROL. It's hard trying to put your brain in gear before your mouth. Trust me. I have found listening to what I have been saying in the past that I am a very sarcastic person. I am trying to really plan my words now. It is soooo easy to rattle off the first thing that comes. But it is usually not the best thing to say.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Anything we say or do along those lines will get us nowhere! Dawn, you've got to stay calm no matter what if you want to get your H back. You need to decide what you really want. If you do want your H back, you're going to have to start getting past the hurt, anger, resentment, etc. Yes, for awhile you are going to continue to think he is still cheating. Has he told you he ended it?
Husband, good job w/ your W. Keep going and you're going to get to where you want/need to be in your M. Hope the dr appt goes well
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I am sorry that you got a hernia. I do think you should tell your wife. I think it was an almost unheard of fluke that that other man died after hernia surgery. I don't think you should worry about dying.
Husband, what kind of hernia? My oldest son had double hernia surgery (scrotum type) when he was about 9 months old. My dad just recently had hernia surgery too. Don't worry about it.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I'm glad you called your wife, although I understand your first impulse, too. Take care of yourself, Sweetie. I know how you feel about going to the doctor. I hope you've got someone you feel a lot of confidence in. Do what they tell you, and don't go climbing any more mountains this week.
husband, Hope everything is okay with your health. Do you have any children? it sounds like you handled the call to your wife very well. Yes I have to have more discipline about what I say to H. it is very difficult to say and do nice things. I feel like im rewarding him for his bad behavior.
