WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing

[Heimlich]

WAW,
Apologies if this is too basic of a question or if I missed this somewhere in your thread, but beyond the controlling behavior, have you told your H why you feel the way you do?

I ask because my W was saying a lot of the same things as you (thankfully, I've never been the controlling type, so that's not an issue), but I had no clue as to how my actions contributed to how she felt. All I heard was, "I feel X, Y, Z, A, B, etc." and to me, it did come out of left field because she had never said, "When you do X, it makes me feel like ______" Thankfully, I have managed to rectify my cranial-rectal inversion and realized all of those things, but it would have been nice if my W had made the connection for me explicitely rather than by dropping hints over the years.

If you have tried to draw those connections between his actions and your feelings, maybe he just doesn't/won't get it, but he does sound like he's trying. Unfortunately, he's flailing about as ineffectively as most of us were before we found DBing and this site.

BD