Need advice, please

[Rob1231]

Hey Mark, Just wanted to throw in my own two cents here.

I do fear you may be treading on thin ice a little, but not in the way you think. Your Get A Life activities need to be focused on making yourself happy, enthusiastic about life, interesting, and strong. They are for YOU.

It sounds like you are on the slippery slope of GAL for the primary purpose of saving your marriage - using them as a manipulative tool to get a reaction out of your wife. The problem is that your wife will see through it, and she will (probably correctly) interpret this to mean that the changes are not "real".

In addition, if things do not work out with your marriage, you won't have built a new, happier Mark to move forward in the future. If you are only GALing in order to impact her, then you haven't really Gotten A Life.

Change your focus. Don't obsess so much about how she reacts and what she does. REALLY focus on doing these things because they make you happier and stronger, and for NO OTHER REASON.

I'm not saying full disclosure is necessary - a little mystery is a great thing. But when that mystery starts to become the POINT of the activity, you're missing the boat.

Finally, I agree with what you've heard from some other folks here. She's very confused and scared right now. Don't take what she says as true, or what she does either. It'll take a while for her to work through this stuff - remember, TIME and PATIENCE are your best friends.

Hang in there!
Rob