Hi HB - H just told me last week that he wishes the A had never happened. However, he also said that he feels guilty for bringing ow into a R because of all the pain she is going through(even though she's the one who initiated it so it's her own darn fault!). He also now sees that ow filed for D because she was partly hoping that she would end up with my H. So, he feels guilty about THAT as well. Seems like your H said something about not wanting to hurt the ow too, didn't he?
Half the time I feel like I can't remember what we talk about since the conversation seems to go in circles!
Currently in divorce proceedings.. I just asked since I figured it'd be final by now but it's not. Yes.. ow's husband has known about the A since day one (months before I found out) and said, at that time, that he would forgive her and work on their M. OW told her H "no" that she wouldn't stop the A. She filed a week after my H told me about it.
H just told me last week that he wishes the A had never happened.
My H said this too. Olive, please don't get your hopes up too high. He wishes it didn't happen, but until he changes something, it doesn't really matter.
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Seems like your H said something about not wanting to hurt the ow too, didn't he?
My H said this too. Amazing that he is sooo concerned about hurting someone after he hurt me after we have been together for 11 years and he was worried about hurting OW after 3 months. My response was...someone is going to get hurt...there are three people involved when there should have only been two and you and OW went into this with your eyes wide open...you both knew I existed...I didn't know that she did.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hello. I have some catching up to do now, I have been busy with GAL in general and I see that your sitch is still the same - my heart goes out to you.
First, I wanted to say I am finding that I am close to being "done". I am sick of my W, and we have been living apart since June now. She has no OM that I know of, or is pursuing one, but she made it clear that she is not ever coming back home nor coming back to me. So with that, I am moving on.
I just made up my mind mentally that my M is over, and I am working on the spiritual/emotional part. I have to let her go completely, which is what a lot of people here just need to do, but acceptance of this fact needs to happen first. My M was not healthy, nor will it ever be the way things are right now. But I wanted to share that I am more at peace now than I ever was in my R and M to my W.
I got both of my kids saying that I need to simply move on and find someone new. My own daughter out of the blue said to me to marry someone else, and she still says that. How amazing is that? My own kids!!!! I am just floored, and today was a major change for me.
I just pray that you may find peace through all this. I know how hard it is.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
It's been a long time. Don't know if you remember me. You were going through some pretty hard times when I started here. You sound like you have found peace. I don't neciceraly envey your pending D but I do envey your Peace of mind. Good luck buddy. I know someday one way or another I too eill be happy
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Hi Sol.. Sorry to hear that you feel the end is near; but, at the same time, happy to hear that you are now focusing on you. I can tell from the tone of your e-mail that you are in a MUCH better place. Sometimes, being apart is for the best -whether it's temporary or permanent.
As for me, you are right not much has changed I guess. One step forward, one step back - no losing ground but also not gaining. Some stuff has changed lately but maybe too insignificant to bother with or maybe I just don't believe anything anymore..
LO, haven't posted for a while. Been busy on all fronts. Your H talks like mine. From what I guess from your h saying he wished A never happened.... he is starting to realize he did something wrong. This is a step forward. In the beginning, he is ALL CORRECT in leaving you and loving OW (because of whatever reason he deems fit). Now, I am guessing he is starting to wake up. Granted, he still have strong feelings for OW (his fault to put HER into all these misery of D, etc.) No, he is not over her yet, long way from that. However, do you sense he is starting to feel a bit guilty towards you also? That he did not show before?
My H went through the same path. For a while after he started to "wake up", he felt sorry for OW, hoping she would just find another guy and live happily ever after.... (this is when he told me he was still deciding between OW and family, but moving towards family, lots of back and forth then).
I am guessing, if your h is like my h, he is slowing waking up. He is starting to realize that these three person R will not work forever. He has to pick one or another.
My humble opinion is to keep on GALing. OW just got divorced, she will be pushing him. Let her do the dirty work of pushing. However, I am not sure about continuing being Stepford wife, or tough love LRT. Tough call.
I can see your H is following a path similar to mine. So you actually have a good chance. Hang in there. Hugs.
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
