Guess I haven't been to my thread in a few days. Spent some phone time with a couple others having tough times.
Went to church yesterday for some peace of mind and it helped. There has been no contact in months but I do talk with her best friend every week or so, we work together. Don't know what gets back to her but I would be suprised if there's nothing. Talk is always of work even though she asks how i'm doing.
Even though we are D now I still have a feeling of hope I can't explain. Last night added some more thoughts about all this.
I was out with a friend for some food and beers, had a good time and talked about a lot of our lives since high school. After my buddy left I stayed talking with the manager since I haven't seen her in months. Started with her bringing up a past R she was in and telling me about it, out of the blue.
Then while I was in the bathroom losing some beer a young guy starts asking me what he should do about some things in his life. Like i'm some kind of counselor, never seen this guy before. So while i'm talking with him and his friend, trying to give him some advice, someone comes up and taps me on the shoulder. OMG, it's the ex's oldest son who hates me and we've had our fights. I even had him arrested in the past.
He was nice and friendly which was cool but my Gosh there is no way in he** that should have happended. Weird things and weird feelings have been happening...DUNNO now i'm confused.
Thought I would share that and if anyone wants to lend some insight it would help.
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Even though we are D now I still have a feeling of hope I can't explain.
This is what explains the hope.
Quote:
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:24-26
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
I was talking with a friend I know from a bar I go to occasionally. She is 51 and one of the most sweetest women I know. We were talking about relationships and she told me she thought I wasn't done with mine. She was talking about the one before current XW.
All those years gone and and I asked what would make her think that? So she told of her H and how they were together long ago and D. Seven yrs. later they reconnected and M again. She thought that could never happen because of her feelings.
Her message to me was that timing and control aren't ours so keep faith and hope because we never know for sure.
Love by Swami Vivekananda
I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.
" This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love ... they try to posses it, they demand, they expect ... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free,
you can not change its nature.
If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice.
It is the secret to true love.To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."
Passing thought ... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
I really really like that story - I've never read it before, but I'm going to share it with a bunch of people in my world. It has a touch of the "when there was only one set of footsteps, that's when I carried you" feeling. Makes me realize that we can do or be that to our loved ones, even when our own lives are bleak. Thank you!
Me: 28 H: 29 Married 5 yrs Two sweet and ornery little ones 4 and 2.5
Great inspirations stories, as always -- I never tire of them, and that Hospital Window one was dynamite! Thanks!
Don't know about my ability to provide any insight, but it is interesting that the ex stepson was friendly to you if he hasn't been in the past. One thing is for sure, hope is definitely not lost after a D -- I've seen and heard to many stories lately about exs remarrying each other. Combine this with our consistent DBing, and I'm confident that we increase our odds dramatically. Keep up you hope and patience -- sounds like you're doing an excellent job of both!
While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. That's my son over there, she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.
He's a fine looking boy, the man said. That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater. Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. What do you say we go, Todd
Todd pleaded, Just five more minutes, Dad. Please Just five more minutes. The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content.
Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. Time to go now Again Todd pleaded, Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.
The man smiled and said, O.K.
My, you certainly are a patient father, the woman responded.
The man smiled and then said, My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch
*********
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
What if the Divine mind of Creator God was like an attic. An infinite attic of all that has been and all that forever will be. We'd find it there. Right there. Tucked behind the blueprints of the Universe. To the right of the secret chest housing tomorrows hail. Or, perhaps on the shelf, twenty-third from the bottom, next to the schedule of the Earth's tides. Our very own View-Master viewer inscribed with our name. And though it's been up here since before the foundation of the world, it still has that fresh, out-of-the-box radiance that would exhilarate any child on Christmas morning.
The slides on the reel, created in the most vibrant array of colors, reveal our life, His purpose for us, just as clear as the day He foreknew us. Let's take it for a spin; peruse the still frames one by one. Remember the challenges you faced as a child? The quest to find your voice and do the right thing as a teenager. The misunderstandings, broken hearts and promises from loved ones. The triumph of achieving your goals and dreams. The hurt that wouldn't quit, producing nights of silent screams. Yes, God has foreseen it all.
Yet, for many of the slides, we see nothing but the darkest midnight. No light, no vivid colors. Shaking and tapping the View-Master we wonder, "Why are these slides still blank?"
Surely our life is not some unfinished novel by an Author stuck on page 122 of 550. Our Heavenly Father, the One not subject to surprises, incapable of being punk'd, He always finishes what He starts... and it's good! We acknowledged His goodness on every past slide.
At what point did our Godly hindsight dim (retrospect), making it harder to find the path to Godly foresight (Faith)? It's easy for us to identify Gods hand at work in past chapters of our life. Our faces beamed with confidence with every click of the View-Master, that is, until we viewed the slides of todays challenges, unable to see the triumph already prepared for us. He is not only our Author, but a Finisher whose pen never runs out of ink.
As I continue to matriculate through the University of Life, I admit, I've switched majors a couple of times. Rode the seesaw between faith and doubt. But now I'm ready to see every slide He foresaw, ready for God to fill in the blanks. I desire to LIVE the life of abundance, which He predestined as my birthright, and trust Him beyond what I can physically see.
"Master, what have You viewed for me? Please teach me to see that, too."
As soon as we begin to see ourselves, our lives, as He foresaw us, the journey through destiny will be one of Godly foresight and gratitude - supported by countless, precious memories from His attic.
Now...next slide, please. Ahh, simply beautiful!
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
cire2.....you don't even have to post stories (although I loved the one about the window)......meaning...you've already left the most powerful words of advice on my thread.
Love and consistency.
Be that man. Your dad was right.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
