Why do these things happen VII

[789]

Well we went to dinner, thankfully I went with no expectations, not one would have been met.
I know it is wrong, but I want to hate her, I want not to love her any longer, I want the pain just to vanish. I tried to think of ways to hate her and I couldn't, she has never done anything to hate but this, and this is not her fault, it is mine. I try to think of ways that I shouldn't love her, that does not work either.
Guess I am just an old sap who can't give up that hope.