Sheer physicality

[SolidMechanic]

Lou wrote: And I guess he is a fun toy for you. Just hope for your sake he is not a player.
After which you wrote: No,no,no. Don't hope that he isn't a player.

Many of us have a negative perception of "players" because most of the players that we have known have been sexual con artists.

Nop suggested that you seek someone who is an ex-player, who has run their course and is looking for a more stable relationship. I chuckled a little at the suggestion because 1) he was describing himself, and 2) if you are a player, that is a really good play. I could see some liar Lothario saying "You know, I've gone out with dozens of women, but all of that casual sex has been pretty meaningless. You seem like the kind of woman I could finally be happy with." Good line, huh? (It's not like that line would work on you, but plenty of women would find it quite a coup to be able to turn a player into a former player.) The fact is, plenty of players will say anything in order to get someone in bed.

Just hope that he plays fair and is both a good winner and a good loser. There aren't two camps of people some players and some not. There are just people living in denial of certain potentials in either direction. ... The important thing to remember is that "play" is "fun" and "fun" is "attractive" and "sexy."...Anyway, at the moment, for better or worse, I am involved in a proto-relationship in which we are both self-aware meta-players. The man I am seeing had a profile on the internet which poked fun at the typical profile by saying something like "Friends first? I say f*ck first, friends later because how else can you know if you want to be friends?" and made some further jokes about the "no games" comments made on many profiles.

I think the kind of "games" that people in those dating ads want to avoid are "head games". People don't like being manipulated and lied to. Games are fun when both participants are playing and both parties know all of the rules. Many people don't know they've been played until the player is long gone.

Anyway, I am curious to see what will happen next in my proto-relationship because I played a straight-up cow card yesterday (though it was half his fault for babbling at me about how much trouble he has getting his kids to eat vegetables when I was literally f*cking exhausted). Will he run in terror from the huge bland suffocatingly bountiful domesticity of my cow?

Once he started talking about his kids, it stopped being a proto-relationship.

Stop fearing the cow. The cow is an important part of who you are. In fact, one of things that would concern a guy about dating a female player is fear that the woman may not have a nurturing side. So now he knows that you do. Fun in bed, yet nurturing. What's not to like?

It makes sense to send out the monkey first to set the tone of the relationship, but eventually you have to be who you are, and bring the whole menagerie with you on the date. Unless you are willing to pass up intimacy with your new guy. I don't know, maybe you do.

SM