Ok the book is pretty good. It would be nice if I was reading with my wife and we both took part in the exercises. Now Theo is one to give lists. Here is one from the book about changing you mind set and I am priming this out and carring a copy with me and putting one at my desk at work and anywhere I can to remind me.
Change of mindset Part of this process involves a change of attitude. You are going to need to look at the type of language you use and how this affects the way you look at things. When I refer to the type of language you use, I mean the reasons you give for doing things, and the excuses you give for not doing things. Reasons, excuses, and feelings are all things that can sharply affect the way you look at issues. It is all about attitude, and this in turn affects our behaviors. This can influence the way we react to the situation we are in. You can either blame others or outside factors for the situation you are in, or you can take control of how you get yourself out of this situation. It all starts with a good attitude.
Negative Attitude Proactive and Positive Attitude I can’t.....................I choose If only.....................I will try I have to do it.............I will choose an appropriate response There is nothing I can do...Let’s look at the alternatives They made me do it..........I choose to react They make me so angry.......I am in control of my feelings I must......................I prefer I don’t have the time.......I choose to let time control me That’s just me..............I can choose to act differently
What we need to understand is that we can’t always control what others do to us, but we do have a choice when it comes to how we react. Yes, things from the outside can influence the things we do, but ultimately the reaction we have is entirely our choice. Another example of this would be when someone makes us feel upset. Someone saying something mean to us can make us feel bad, but it is up to us how it is going to affect our day. Sometimes people don’t mean the things they say, and insults are said in the heat of the moment, specifically with the intention of hurting us. WE can choose to be upset by things, or we can choose to get past it and move on. It is important to acknowledge our feelings, but the level of the reaction and the actions we take are within our control. We are in control of our feelings.
This morning my wife was cooking some bacon and eggs. When I walked in I said "boy that smells good". I then sat down at the kithion table and started reading. My wife finished up but just made enough for her and my son. I could have been hurt, taking it personally (old Husband). But I just got up and made myself bacon and eggs. (With out banging things around) (New Husband). It was no big deal. Saved myself from having a bad day thinking about it. I don't know why she did it. Maybe she thought I already ate. It does not mater. But in the old husbands mind I would have taken personally. I can choose to react anyway I want. GAL
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
