Don't place too much in the fact the your W gives you a hug sometimes. Sorry, don't want to burst your bubble of hope, but I have done the same thing with my H. I nearly walked away for our 41 year marriage. I have trying to work through an EA and I am getting stronger, but I have enough sense to know that I have a long ways to go. However, I know that I actually hold back showing any kind of affection to him because I know his hopes will be jacked up sky-high and think everything if "fixed"...and it is not. She may be very perceptive in reading your re-action to her "trial" hugs and sees that you are the same way. Just guessing here. Maybe that was one of her more stronger moments, as I have had, and she was "trying" to put forth some effort. I know it is hell for you. I can't imagine what you must be going through. But, if you can just stay cool and not show any reaction to her touches, etc., she will not be afraid to try more frequently. I dare say that if you re-act in a hopeful way when she gives you a hug....even if it is nothing more than her seeing a twinkle in your eyes, it will scare her....or discourage her from trying. I know it doesn't make sense to you husbands. Bless your hearts, I know it is awful for you. We females are so complicated we don't even understand ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to understand us? But, just try to be patient a while longer and keep GAL and playing it calm when she decides to try a hug out on you. The next step might be a little peck of a kiss. That will be a test also.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
