When a complaint is filed, the court clerk will stamp several "true copies", one of which is filed. The others will go back to his lawyer, who needs to get one to you. That can be by having you "served," but it is cheaper and easier if you can pick them up at his lawyer's and sign that you received it. You should have a copy within a few days of the filing.
My life got a little better today...maybe good things do happen to good people. I am actuary...I'm guessing no one knows what that is...but anyway you have to take a series of exams to get accredited. I have been taking these exams for the last 8 years of my life. I have failed more times than I have passed, but I kept with it. I thought about quitting multiple times, but life wasn't going the way I had planned so I kept going. I was going to take the first couple exams...have a baby...and work part-time. My plan didn't go so well. I found out today that I passed the exam that I took in May. I also passed the one that I took last November...so I have passed two of the seven exams that I have during these last 9 hellish months of my life. Things were already going terrible for H and me back in November, but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong until after I took the exam...he just said it was nothing serious. Two days after I took the exam...he told me...I can't do this anymore...I want out of this marriage. My life literally fell apart and then 10 days later he disclosed that he was having an A and didn't know what HE wanted to do. I perservered...I went to work everyday...I studied my @ss off so I could be successful at this one thing in my life that didn't have anything to do with my H. I never in a million years thought I would finish these exams and now I can see the end. It wasn't in my old plan, but I think it might be in God's new plan for me. I know God is watching out for me. Things are looking better.
On a side note, some of us went out to celebrate tonight and I ran into one of my SIL's and it was the bad one. She is one of the people that reports to H what I do. I was walking out with one of my co-workers, but of course it had to be the girl and not the guy. Oh, I would have loved to see her face if me and the guy were walking out together...the rumors would have really started to fly. Oh well, at least she saw me out and I wasn't with any of my IL's, so she and H should be happy.
I'm going out again tomorrow night, so I'm sticking to my GAL plan.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Wow.. I haven't been able to concentrate for the past 7 months since I found out about the A. You are awesome! Congratulations... I'm sure the exams were really tough.. YEAH for you!!!!
Hopeful - you are so young and have a great career/life ahead of you. A baby will come in time when you are with a man who deserves you! Part of God's plan..
Congrats Hopeless! I too am impressed that you were able to concentrate. I know I couldn't for the first few months. You are a strong woman. One of these days you will find a man who is actually deserving of you!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks everyone for the support and nice comments. I didn't think that I could concentrate well enough to pull this off either, so God must have helped me out.
I went out again last night for a few hours. A couple of my high school classmates were there. I was talking to one of the guys, and his first question to me was "Where is your WORSE half?" (Mike just mentioned last week about me being my H's better half..I thought this was kind of ironic). My response was "Long gone". He said "I'm sorry to hear that..I didn't know". Does anyone have any good responses in sitch's like this? I don't have any intention of running my H down, but I'm not quite sure how the best way to respond is. I don't want to put my H down, but I also don't want people to think that I gave up on this marriage.
H was in town this weekend for one of his friend's weddings (he is actually one of my classmates too). I haven't run into him and I hope I don't. I was sort of concerned that he would bring OW with him, but I just don't think he has the guts to take her to a wedding around here when he is still married to me, but he did a lot of things that I wouldn't expect. Everyone would know that she was OW. I'd hate to be in her shoes. Good thing I'm a decent person with morals, so I won't ever have to worry about that.
Tomorrow is my appointment with the attorney. If all goes well, I will be signing the D papers this week. I really think that it is time for me to move on. I deserve better than this. I've been doing pretty well...not much crying which is always a good thing.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
So much for the not much crying...H called and wanted to come by to pick up a few things. I did good at first, but then my emotions got the best of me. Last week, I starting to wonder if I even loved my H anymore...now I know I still do. It killed me to see him especially when he jokes around with me like we always did. We had bought a baby bed awhile back when we were trying to get pregnant. He asked about something else that was right next to it, so I said well you might as well take that too. Neither of us could hold it back. We both had tears in our eyes...this is so hard knowing that the main reason that we aren't together is because we couldn't have a baby.
This how the conversation about the D papers went.. H: Did you sign the papers? M: No, not yet. H: Why not, you were on me to get those done? M: I will, I just haven't yet. Do you want me to mail them you or attorney? H: To the attorney and then within 30 days, we will have a court date that I have to go and it will all be wrapped up.
It was fine and civil except for his snide remark about me rushing him. He can think whatever he wants. Yes, he probably does feel like he is being forced into finishing the divorce, but if he had any doubts or concerns he would have moved away from OW a long time ago. For my own well-being, I have to sign the papers and move on with my life. I have to get out of this mess for my own sanity. I am getting more than my fair share...I just have to accept that this is the best. He's broken and he hurt me and he is not the man that I married. I need to make sure that I remember that...just trying to stay strong.
Last edited by hopeless11; 07/23/0712:00 AM.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
