Sheer physicality

[MJontheMend]

You are missing my point. I don't care why he might have that preference (actually I know why he said it was a tactile preference). I am wondering about his motivation for stating such a preference.

Let's say you were single and you discovered that a new lover had a big tattoo of a heart on her *ss. You might have a strong preference that she would have it removed but you would know that it was a big deal to get a tattoo removed so I would think that it would be unlikely that you would state your preference on such a matter unless you were contemplating having to stare at that heart on a regular basis. Obviously, changing up my waxing routine is not such a big deal as having a tattoo removed but still I think it would be rather bold for a man to state his personal preference on the matter unless he had some sort of vested interest therefore I tend to regard it as a form of minor territorial p*ssing.

Of course, if I were a woman less under the influence of the theories propounded on this BB, I would probably be more inclined to regard his more romantic gestures in that light. I have come to see more value in honest "selfish" expressions than in more validating expressions for which I can't know the underlying motivation. (Yeah, I know that I s*ck because I couldn't really "get" this completely while sunk in the fusion miasma of my dysfunctional marriage.) It seems to me that although it is true that without validation the whole world of human relationships would fall apart and things would be quite bleak, the problem with validation is that you always have to take it on faith. If someone says "You make great pizza!" it is different than when somebody says "I love the way you saute the mushrooms in garlic before you put them on the pizza but I would prefer a little less red pepper in the sauce." Honesty trumps validation but, of course, insults are not necessarily honest either.