Bummer on the setback. It's definitely frustrating to hear that progress was being made and that W was wanting to discuss working things out this weekend, but now that is back on the backburner. It's even more frustrating because we never know when that consideration is taking place. However, this is why we are to keep up our efforts, even (and esp) when we feel like it is in vain. This new sitch of yours reminds me of one from DR where a woman states that after she and her H reconciled, her H told her he was considering coming back at one point until she did something (can't remember what) to push him away again. Because of that, it took them much longer to work things out. I know that the alcohol played a huge role in what happened this weekend, but you can't play the cards you played last night until you are 100% sure it's time to throw in the towel. I'm glad you're going to get some help on the drinking. It sounds like this will be important not only for you, but for your your W and M.
It sounds like W is coming clean about some things, like trying to push your buttons with the "date" sitch and whatnot. This is helpful, because it shows a more open and honest line of communication. Walls are breaking down, and that is a very good thing.
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then she initiates a real hug, held me for a some time. that was really nice. haven't felt her thay physically close in a long time.
Awesome!!!
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i don't want her to come home, because life will be hard now. i don't want her to come her just for s. i want her to be here because she loves me and wants it. i love her and will do anything to show her this. so sober me from now on. keep up the changes, and avoid like hell the backsteps.
I am the same way, bro. I didn't want W to come back simply because life would be tough if she didn't -- that is part of the reason why I've decided to set her up to be comfortable post-D. I also didn't want her to come back because of how the split would affect the kids. I wanted her to come back because she loved me and wanted to be a family because of this. If they ever came back for any other reason, the M could never be at the level of love that it should be and it there would be a greater chance of just going down the same road at a later stage in the game. I'm glad you've decided to reinvest in your resolve to do whatever it takes to save your M, because that is what I believe DBing is all about.
Stay focused and sober, my friend -- show W with your actions that this is something you're going to do no matter what the outcome of your M. Show her you're also doing this for you and the kids.
