Hello, this is my first attempt at posting. Have read DB (over and over) and been viewing some posts here. I'm 32, married only 1.5 yrs. My WAW (30) and i have been distant for awhile. I can shoulder most of the fault, as i have been living life like a single guy w/ a girlfriend instead of a W. She encouraged my freedom, but i started taking it and her for granted. She had mentioned unhappiness several times, but i would withdraw and hope things would just workout. She suggested C a few weeks ago, and i laughed in her face at the thought! What did i expect to happen? After a weekend together with friends, I was mad for silly reasons, so just kept quiet and avoided talking to her to avoid a fight. (I always avoid a fight). Next day tried to talk as i was calm, but she clearly was avoiding me like never before. I pressed her that evening, asking if she loved me. She said, "sometimes" and left the room. I pursued and pressed some more. She said she wanted a D she was not in love with me anymore!! I was crushed, begged and pleaded. She did not budge, i cried (first time she ever saw me like that). Next day i convinced her to agree to a 30 day separation. I moved out the following weekend. That was last Sunday. We spoke on phone Wed night, she was very distant. I tried to keep it light and listen to her, but could only get two word responses. Ended up on our feelings, and her lack of feelings for me. I also began C on my own, now she will not go. Says she does not see how that would change her feelings. I am meeting with her this afternoon. Hoping to do something together, and will have dinner. My goal is to ask her about her weekend, she was seeing friends. Not to press the R. Read the 5 Languages of Love book, and left it for her with a note while i was home briefly to take care of a few things. Wondering if she read it, and if i should give her DB? There are so many parts that nail one or both of us right on the head. Other thing I'm wondering is the 180. Do i 180 from where i was after she dropped the D, or 180 from how i acted leading up to it? I'm afraid if i 180 from after, i will be distant, which lead up to it. But, if i press the issue, I'm afraid I'll push her away more, and reenforce her ideas that L is gone. Hopefully i hear back from some of you beforehand. Will post again tonight or tomorrow with results of our 'date.' Thanks!
Me 32 WAW 30 D Bomb 7/9 Separated 7/15 Reiterated bomb 8/12 PA 8/21 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1198643
