Kicking him off the fence

[lovelyolive]

Well.. that's kind of personal.. Let's just say that I have in a previous life

Can you give us all the highlights as you read your new books?

[delia]

I doubt he can provide any coherent highlights, since all he can think about is underwear.

[Dr LOve]

Delia,

At least I wear some.

husband

[delia]

That STUNG, dude!

[Dr LOve]

Delia,

Sorry

Husband

[delia]

You aren't one bit sorry! And just for that, I won't send you my great-aunt's knickers.

[delia]

...I'll send you my great-uncle's knickers.

[theoden]

Theo - I like this approach. How long is appropriate for each phase? Two weeks minimum?? BTW - just last week, my IC said we need to start working on setting up healthy boundaries.. Yah.. No kidding..

Olive, you are the best person to determine the length. You also need to monitor if it's working.

My guess:

Phase one -- 2 months max

Phase two -- 1 month

Phase three -- 2-3 months

So we are looking at a six month plan.

Run it by your counselor.

--Theoden

[lovelyolive]

Does anyone ever feel like telling their S - ILYBNILWY? I've really been feeling that way for the past week or so... Why do I even want a M with an adulterer who thinks it's their right to continue an affair in order to maintain personal happiness? My sadness feels more about lost hopes and dreams than losing him.

Right now, his attitude is that he would have another affair if he felt he wasn't getting what he needs at home. This from a guy who has gone through how many months of therapy! I don't feel that he will ever respect me enough not to cheat.

With that said, maybe I don't need a six-month plan. Maybe I just skip ahead to D.

So, what do you say to your S when they come home from a weekend sex-fest with op?

[Dr LOve]

Olive,

I don't know what to tell ya, One of the things that bothers me is my W (at least does not show it)feel like she did nothing wrong.Like " ok I slept with another guy big deal get over it".

Husband