" She is not having second thoughts. My going out on my own sent her the message that I have let her go completely, and she will likely file for divorce very soon, probably sooner than if I had not gone out last night. "

Mark dude,

Self fufilling prophesy? When id you get your degree in mind reading?
Trust me, NOTHING YOU DID RUSHED ANYTHING ALONG. You need to remember both of you are working on emotions right now. YES I said both of you. I see me in you 3 months ago.
You are both reacting to each other.


"She is convinced that I went on a date and got laid, and this provides her proof that I will have a "soft landing" when she serves me with D papers. "

Do you think she really cares? If you do then you have a chance. If she was all hell bent on leaving you she would not care if you had a nervous break down. She would just want out.
You did OK. Now you need to modify you tactic a little. No you should not stay home if you have plans just so she can go out. BUT if she does have plans and lets you know that’s another story.
So next time at least the day before let her know you have plans and GO OUT..

Ok

Husband

And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know