Yes, these signs have been there BEFORE the affairs.
The mother, and aunts have suffered from the same crazy condition. The family always called it BiPolar but I thought it was different.
Per the link I gave you...lack of empathy...always wanting to be the center of attention..to an extreme degree. For example...you give them backrubs...they don't do that!
Both Mother and Aunt had between 3 and 4 marriages in their 20s and early 30s. In their days they were called not so nice words like "SLXXs" Today we call them sex addicts/Don Juanas.
My seperated probably soon to be X was abandoned by Mother at age 8 months while Mom chased local rock stars and she also chased Dad away!
When I met her while probably knowing better realized she was a wild young thing and a "slXX". Didn't care was having fun. A pregnancy and then a relationship building talk where she told me she was from a very family oriented background where Grandparents who raised her had been married 50 years. A swearing of a tremendous commitment to marriage and family despite what I had seen in early relationship. The Mother (4 marriages in 20s) kept out of site and was constantly referred to with Disdain.
Then to find out (as often happens with these Sexual Narcissitic Personality disorders) she was out after a certain period of time(3 years...5 years) pursuing sexual conquest. As marriage approached she told friends one nighters didn't matter, she could stop when she wanted and was in love with me!
My understanding....if a week or a month is stopping then she did well!
At this point....I confess I loved her.(I never knew)...She constantly wanted to be with me...was constatntly jealous(part of her condition I have read) yet was leading a second secret life at night under the ruse of being a bit of an alcoholic.
Now has a tight boyfriend who beats her(YES, she's cheated on him too!) Has admitted there is something the matter with her and not certain she can be with anyone if she doesn't get help for herself! Has done nothing....but work and date the boyfriend since moving out of the house.
In the meantime I would NEVER get back with her except for kids. They are devastated! Yet...I believe this as a second try is doomed to repeat performances. Also she has nearly bankrupted me while pursuing her conquests.
Run for me? Or stay and try to go forward for the kids? From what I read these people lead terrible lives and destroy the lives of their kids.
