OK, so the past few days I have been really busy with my job, and just minding my own business. Haven't spoke to her since last week's incident (see previous post in this thread). So, there is a business associate of mine who gave me some advice, along the lines of an extreme 180. He said to just stop showing any emotion, don't let her know I want her back, and from now on just act like I don't care either way what she does, as if I'm just totally indifferent to her. He knows my W, and told me she is a serious taker, a master manipulator, very selfish, and that I have been too generous and reliable for her over the years and that she has taken advantage of me to the point where she no longer feels I am a challenge, and that she doesn't respect me because I let her either get away with taking advantage of me, or blow my top when I've had enough. His advice is that I should have been calmly standing up to her all along and letting her chase me a bit (even within our marriage) because she is this way. He also described her as an "emotional predator", meaning she looks for those she can take advantage of. She is very intelligent and calculating when she wants something, and he says the only way to earn respect back from her is to just basically ignore her, and to take the ball back into my court by taking steps to get a place of my own, then just tell her what I am doing once it's in motion. We need to be out of our place within a week or two and I went apartment shopping this afternoon for myself, and called on a few promising options, though I haven't told her yet. So the clincher is that she left me a message yesterday which said she was bringing over some boxes to get her things soon, most likely within the next few days by my estimates, though she wasn't specific. I still am thinking I can turn this around, and though I am really p*&sed at her for the way she has handled of of this and ducking out on our marriage so fast, I still want to make it work, though I am starting to feel like maybe she is too selfish and disrespectful all around for me, and will never change. The other part of me still loves her and wants to give her and our M a chance, but I am running out of hope, as I know I won't even be able to agree to working things out less she has a very sincere moment of openess and humbled accountability for her part in our problems, which I am doubting she is capable of. Any takes?
