I agree: H may want to come home, but his pride may be getting in the way. Maybe now's the time, if he chooses to have another relationship talk, in person, just to lend a sympathetic ear. Your H always sounded like his sex drive would be the last thing to go, but he actually sounds pretty worn out and sick at this point. The OW is obviously not a totally successful experiment for him.
I sympathize with your angry feelings. Something's going to have to happen to turn those around, I'm guessing, before the two of you can really work things out. At some point--maybe not right now--you might even be able to tell him, calmly, that it hurts you to be told that he "cares" about you--instead of "ILY". But, as GD said, he may be just testing out the waters. He may be too stubborn to say the words.
Frankly, I think he does love you. I don't think it's love that the two of you lack. You and H (especially H) need to figure out some less stressful way to live together.
