So after a quick exchange with H last night, I think I'm still not understanding/implementing something he brings up a lot: "Why do you always assume the worst?"
I've put a bit of thought to it, and what I've come up with is two-fold (at least).
1-I see myself as a positive person. I'm very goal-oriented. My brain is engineered to think big picture, future, master life plan, etc...prepare for all possibilities, you know? I like to work towards goals, and I don't like the thought of being blindsided by something horrible I never expected.
2-Up until one/two years ago, I didn't assume the worst about H. I really didn't. I thought I knew him, thought we were on the same page, happy with our life. I was the person standing up for him when my friends asked questions about his behavior and shook their heads with worry. So having gone through this whole sitch, it's just a little hard to turn off the reality of his betrayal and go back to just assuming every red-flag is harmless, believing everything he says.
Getting these thoughts down on-screen, I realize this is the crux of my trust issue. I don't want to be always jumping to the worst scenario. I want to be light and fun and loving and supportive, expecting the best.
My gut tells me I need to work on my communication skills and learn to get the info I need without projecting my fears/assumptions into my questioning. Simple, right? Ha.
Does anyone have ideas how to reconcile this? How can I become the person who has low expectations, chooses not to over-analyze and worry about every little thing, without being a complete and total fool stepping out in front of a garbage truck?
