Going out to play cards is GAL. Spending 2 hours in the car to make it appear you were out later is definitely being deceitful.
If she has been taking off without notice, that's a problem. You doing the same doesn't make it better. If you are both going to spend time outside the home on your own, then you have to arrive at some kind of accomodation, advance notice, a schedule, something.
It is not a good message for your kids for the two of you to be racing to see who gets to go out and who is "stuck" with the kids.
That said, I think that the basic message was delivered loud and clear. If it gives her second thoughts, good. If not, then she was already gone.
