You're right. I AM lucky to have my cousin & her family. In fact, I was at her house when H called to break the news about tomorrow to me. I went outside to talk to him - as I don't really share all the messy details with her. WHen I came back in, she could tell I was sad. All I said was that he blew me off for Sunday. Her response was, Great, now you can come over here.
Yes, I am fortunate, but at the same time, there is no substitute for H. I miss him so much and want to work things out. I want him to want to be with me. I know my next move will push him away - possibly for good this time. But I don't think I can stop myself.
