Theo.. thanks for the comments. Its funny you would think that I would be looking for an EA but frankly I just couldn't do it. I am a very strong person and I couldn't do it to my family namely my kids. They are very young and I couldn't hurt them if it got out in the open. As I sit here writing this tears are coming down as I don't know where to turn. Yesterday we had a really big fight.. *long story* his parents are divorced and he has always been one sided sticking up for him father, when ultimately his father caused the problems, anyway I told him to stay out of it and he flew off the handle. Said I was a femnist (i certainly am not) and that im stupid.. all because I didn't agree with him... He wants peoples opinion but if they don't agree with him they are wrong.. messed up huh? anyway, Im beginning to think he just doesn't deserve me and the person that I am. I am loyal to him and my family, I would never hurt him intentionally, but with him there are no boundaries.
For example I got hurt yesterday coming down the stairs.. (im a cluts) and he came over and said are you alright, oh wheres the juice? in the same breath mind you. I don't think he really cares about me.. I think he lusts after me, but I don't think he really cares about my feelings at all. Im scared. I don't know if I can take it anymore.
Yes in the beginning he was very jealous, I was only 19 when we met. He grew out of that. But he is very opinionated and very mean somtimes. Im feeling trapped again, I can't talk to my parents because there are just too close and its not something I would talk to them about. I only have one good friend I can talk to.
even if I was to consider leaving I have no money or a job. Im a SAHM and I do things for the business from home.
Just venting here.. have a bad day already.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
