Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

I don't know how I missed this post--thank goodness I spotted it now. I needed the laugh.

"Ask me in a few weeks" means "shut up already," but said in a way that may actually end the inquisition instead of igniting an argument.

You cannot decide right now that you WILL ask him in 3 weeks, only that you will NOT ask for at least that long. You really need to shift it into neutral and stop pursuing.

True dat

Let's pretend. You have this house, and you need a little more income, so you decide to rent out your spare room. Now imagine the homeliest, most unattractive man your age that you know. Maybe that plumber with his crack showing. That is who you rented the room to.

He has use of the kitchen, the laundry, the common areas. You don't clean his room, you don't shop for him, cook for him, or anything. You would never go out with him, or even tell him where you were going.

No sex of course. If he tried to make a pass at you, you'd probably throw up a little in your mouth.

ROFLMAO

Imagine this guy, preferrably a real person, whenever you bump into your H in the hall.

You don't need to purge the whole house of your H's things. But do remove all of his stuff from YOUR bedroom. Rearrange the furniture. Get a new bedspread or something to change the look of the room a bit. And start locking your bedroom door every night.

If this seems extreme, you need to realize that all of this is easily reversible, compared to buying a condo or even signing a lease on an apt.

Mike- kudos to you for creating an excellent visual that explains detachment in a more concrete term. Well done.
I am paralyzed with confusion. I don't really feel like tossing him out of the bedroom (for the third time) since he is trying to move out anyway. Talk about looking like an irrational woman. I have a feeling he'll be out of here within the next week, if not sooner.

I went and looked at a very cute condo today (one that I could afford). Several units are being rented out, so I would be able to see how close the rent would come to covering the mortgage if we somehow worked out. And if we don't work out, well, at least I am well on my way to creating my own life. But if I all of a sudden go in that direction I am being irrational.

Nothing in my world makes sense to me right now.

And now you can see why I am paralyzed with confusion.