Keep her guessing I say. Especially w/ what she's up to. What do you mean by full speed ahead on the D? Has she actually filed?
Insomnia. I think I am still depressed over the whole affair thing. I thought I got over that... I slept from 10:30 - 1:30, then 5:00 - 7:30. So I will not be a night owl tonite... I think I will go to a church festival and play poker.
She has not yet filed. I know that she has had one meeting with her attorney. She is getting a bonus soon, so I figure once she gets that, she will have some cash to have me served. But she has committed herself to end our marriage.
But she has committed herself to end our marriage.
I know she says that Mark, and that she is acting that way too - but it ain't over until the fat lady sings. Remember, they HAVE to tell us they are committed to ending the marriage - it's part of their defense mechanism. You need to treat that statement the same as the rest of the alien spew being directed your way - let it slide off your back and keep hanging in there.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Thanks for the support Rob. Just like Michelle advises in DR, I believe none of what I hear and half of what I see. I will continue my LRT, with emphasis on GAL activities. I will be busy this weekend...
Today she asked me if I intend to keep the house (live here by myself after the D). I told her, "I haven't given it much thought. I would like to stay here. I need to think about it." She didn't really respond. The answer kind of thew her off. My coach advises that these types of answers be given when D talk comes up. Responses like, "Wow, that's an interesting concept. You have given me something to think about," are appropriate answers to D & R questions.
I have been following along, but not much advice to add. I just wanted to say that it seems like you have your stuff together and are doing a good job detaching, etc.
I also agree that until she files for divorce, she is not the least bit committed to D. Not sure the bonus explains it. She wouldn't be paying all the L fees up front, and it would be easier to count the bonus as all "hers" if she separates or files before it comes. It does make a handy excuse for her to stay home and eat cake, though.
Thanks Mike & Husband for the encouraging words. I spent about 2 hours fixing the fishing boat trailer, getting it ready to take out (one of my GAL's). Need a couple more things and she's ready to go.
It is now 5:40 PM on Friday. I still intend to take off unannounced tonite (going to a church festival alone). This will be very difficult, as I expect a full grilling from her regarding where I am going, when I will return, etc. I am accustomed to full disclosure, as is she. This will be a HUGE 180 for me, and will go a long way toward detachment. Stay tuned...
I was going to go play some pool tonight, BUT I need to go back to work to finish some stuff up. Oh well I will tell her I am going back to work but if the phone rings I will not answer it. May go shoot some pool after. I know she is dying to find out where I go on Friday nights but she is afraid to ask, I just tell her I'm going out don't know what time I will be back. I don’t know if it is really DBing but it is kind of fun to let them think we may be seeing someone and let their minds wonder and in reality you are at church and I am at work. And our W are home wondering where we are and who we are with...
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yeah, that's funny. I do not wonder what her reaction will be. She will be absolutely incredulous. "Where are you going? No, wait, WHERE ARE YOU GOING????.... well, when will you be back???" etc...
Just after dinner, I will jump in the shower, get dressed, and head out, without stopping. I will say, see you later! grab the keys, and head out.
Also... as you know I am going to a church FESTIVAL... and the only praying I will be doing is to fill my inside straight...
I may indeed make this a routine... about twice a month as you do...And I DO think it is DBing. It's GAL ... showing them what life will be like in the future that THEY want (wondering where we are and what we are doing). It's NOT revenge. It's not: "See, now you know how it feels!!" Not at all. It's all about "Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it!"
This will work even if you just went down to the local hardware store.
That is what I have planned this weekend----However, I'm really going to get something for MIL's new place. CRAZY! My H won't even notice so guess it doesn't count! (also going Sat am instead of Friday night just isn't the same, is it? )
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