Sven had a great post tyler. And, belatedly, I agree that showing them the articles,the books, etc...does nothing. LIke an alcoholic down on his luck, our W's have to WANT to look inward and WANT get back the same things that we want to be able to heal.

Someone posted on my thread a similar theme, about having a need or dependency on my W, which, I think is true to some degree but not all encompassing. I'm not sure all our changes will bring back our W's, but, it certainly gives us better tools with which to reconstruct our new selves. 4kids talked about guilt and resentment....and leaving it behind. History is recorded so that future generations can learn from it. Similarly, we must learn from our mistakes...where we went wrong in our M's....make changes in our course and learn from it. And, we must understand that we were NOT the same person we were years ago when we got married. We grew. We made mistakes. We learn. As a N.U.T., real men don't pour on the guilt and resentment...we become a rock.

I support you and pray that we all get to where we want to be.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;