Hi WAW1978, I know what you are going through. I had one foot out the door ready to leave. I think my husband is in denial also. We have tried to talk, but he doesn't see he has failed "that much". He feels like he has done everything he has known to do....according to him. I asked him about talking to a MC, but he won't do it. I don't know...it get's really discouraging. I noticed you said something in one of your posts about your feelings...or lack of them...for your H. I am going through that myself. Having a very hard time feeling the positive things I should be feeling for the man I am married to. Have no sexual desire for him. Not attracted to him at all. Feel more like he is my brother instead of H. Is this the way you feel?

I have been reading a lot and hearing about other people getting divorced, etc. It seems like it's all saying the same things that I just stated. So, it must be a very common problem. Surely, someone knows what to do about it. I think we want our M to work, but it is hard when you don't have the "energy" to put forth all the hard work it takes. Guess that sounds like an excuse. I know when we want something...really want it...we have the energy. So, maybe it is because I know I "should" want it and am doing it because I know I SHOULD! I have always been taught to do what is "right"...and I know to stay in the M is the right thing to do. That doesn't make my heart want to follow.

I'm not trying to pull you down and hope it doesn't sound that way at all. I am trying to see if you have the same struggles about this as I do. Were you involved with OM? I started out reading your story and got behind. Plus, I've read so many stories, they all start blurring together.

Well, I was in an EA with OM over internet. I know, it's disgusting! But, that added to my struggles with healing in the M. I am trying to get over my emotional feelings for OM and get on with my MR. It's tough! I always thought I was a strong person until this happened and then I found out just how weak a person I really am! I am disgusted with myself. I have tried to forgive myself for the EA, but it's these blasted "feelings" that keep hanging on that is causing my problems now. If I could feel as numb to the OM as I do toward my H, I would be better off. Crazy, isn't it? Never thought I would see myself in this boat!

Well, just wanted to chat with you for a while. Hope things get better for you soon. Let me hear from you.

Sandi2

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!