I have been following along, but not much advice to add. I just wanted to say that it seems like you have your stuff together and are doing a good job detaching, etc.
I also agree that until she files for divorce, she is not the least bit committed to D. Not sure the bonus explains it. She wouldn't be paying all the L fees up front, and it would be easier to count the bonus as all "hers" if she separates or files before it comes. It does make a handy excuse for her to stay home and eat cake, though.
