Looks like you are more likely to have an affair than he is -- for emotional reasons.
I recommend reading the Divorce Remedy.
Regarding the "Adult Friend Finder" posting. I think your husband was looking for what people call a f*ck-buddy. It's unacceptable behavior. Had someone responded to his posting, he would have probably hooked up with them.
It also seems that his sex life with you is mostly him getting a good f*ck rather than actually making love. Which is why he seems to be drawn to extremes. Any abuse in his background?
1. Work on getting a life. Meet some nice moms in your area, swap baby-sitting and get out a little bit. I'd like you to take some time to re-discover yourself. Take up some old hobbies you've neglected, take up some new hobbies that would interest you.
2. Get some excercize. Get in shape. It'll give you more energy and self-confidence.
3. It's not your job to be at home waiting for him 274X 7 to provide meals for him, care for your kids, clean your house and be his sex goddess.
4. Here's a weekly suggestion: one night he goes out for a guys night (you watch kids) one night you go out for a girls night (he watches kids) and one night a week you go out on a date (get a babysitter). You get babysitter and HE plans the date. The more romantic/intersting it is, the more nookie he gets from you. ;-)
