Hear ya on the family thing..I am closer to h family then my own..sad isn't it..my family has only heard things from outside of h and I about what is going on..they don't bother to ask first hand..to make a long story short..h and his ff friend were very close..I had a fear all along that this was not normal..but the deep down gut feeling was that I did not believe he would have an affair with her..and in the end I was right(some days I do doubt it all and think maybe he is really fooling me good)..he told me there were things in her life that he could not tell me, and she relied heavily on him..was it an ea..don't know for sure what that involves...but he asssured me just before he left that there was NOTHING between them,she has since found a new love and dropped my h as a friend. Anyway..back to the family thing..some family members saw him out to lunch or after work events..and she was with him..well..can you imagine what they all thought..and I have learned since all this it is so sad that a married man and woman can't have a friendship without people assuming there is "something" going on.So I too have alot to lose if we go our seperate ways..while my mil and I clash sometimes I don't tink right now she is pre judging what went wrong and whose fault it is.My h did not tell her all the details as he feels it is between the two of us..guess I did make that mistake with my sister..last spring when I was at a low and really wondered what my h and ff were doing I confided in her..later i told her differently but the damage is done..their loss..at Christmas I did not spend it wiht my family for that reason..it sure rocked the boat..but if they can't trust what I have told them then they lose. Sorry I rambled..take care Sue
