What you stated maybe true if barrier 6 was basising your sexual security and happiness on your spouse. But it encompasses so much more then that.
A relationship is suppose to enhance your life and who you are not take it over. So many people stop being who they were when they first came into the relationship hence the things that made them interesting and attractive to the other person no longer exist.
I have been watching my 17 year old son do this very thing and had a simular talk with him regaurding it. 9 months ago he had lots of friends and interest then came along this girl. Slowly over the months everything in his life became about the girl. He became so wrapped up in her that she was his all. The things he use to do with friends stopped and the sports he played stopped if it was not about her it was not period. 9 months later she dumped him why? He had become borring and she had found interest in someone else who was not. Basically he was no longer the person she met and liked in the begining he had based his source of happiness only on her and was no longer independent of being happy unless it was about her. She on the other hand was not interested in making her life depend on just one borring person. My son is now showing interest in all the things he stopped being interested in prior to the relationship again friends sports ect.
Long story short A relationship should be like mustard. It should be used to enhance the flavor of your food not hide it. And a relationship should be there to enhance your life not take over it. To me that is what Barrier 6 is talking about.
You and only you are responsilble for the desicions you make so you and only you are responsible for your happiness even your sexual happiness. Cemar you choose every day to stay married to your wife for what ever reasons. So you choice everyday to remain sexually unfullfilled. You know you cannot change her I hope you know that you cannot make her want and see things the way you do or view what you view as important. You just can't period. No one here even the ones with success story's managed that. Mr NOP did not change Mrs Nop. She changed herself the reasons SHE decided to change may have had a thousand things to do with Mr Nop but it was her choice and her desicion that changed things. And though they both may benifit from this change and both now may agree that sexual fufillment is important to there relationship. I am sure the reasons that they individually have for feeling this way are very different. So they still see the same things differently he did not make her see things his way.
I think I have started to babble and loose point here. But Cemar it is all about exceptance if you choice to remain unhappy. "It is what it is" has become my favorite saying in life.
