Okay this is where I really need the help i think. I'm very religious and yesterday while listening to the speaker something seemed strange. I begin to think what if she was actually open to reconciling. I have not spoken to her in a couple weeks but something told me okay this might be a real option that she might consider it.
This is what i've been working towards since I went in save my M mode. Then I begin to think is this even what I want. It was like banging on a glass door for 2 1/2 years because you think you got trapped and you can see outside and you think you want to be out there and it finally opens and you think to yourself do I really want to be out there. We'll I begin to think there maybe a very real option that these doors could begin to close. And at the point I begin to think about jumping out right before they closed again.
This morning I feel as if I might actually be willing to consider it. Considering is this an M worth saving. But nevertheless I don't think I can really trust myself with any decisions just yet.
