I realy am worried about her , I spent some time tonight with some close friends and it was great , they also see W heading for a crash. Now this may seem crazy , given the ultimate goal of having my family back together , but I hope W takes plenty of time to get her life together , I would love to see her go to a C , but dont see it happening. I actualy dont want her to come back right now as I know it would be for all the wrong reasons. Now isnt that a turn around? it was not long ago I was freting about her leaving. I dont even know about long term , there is just going to be so much to deal with it almost seems overwhelming . I dont even know how to express how I feel right now , I have been giving so much on an empty tank for so long and now I dont have to.
I got my hair cut today and I have been going to the same place for a few years, My Hairdresser who is a lovely lady always askes abouth the family and I told her about the split. She was quite shocked , and said but you seem so happy , I said I am happy in myself. My friends tonight again surprised at how I seemed Happy , I told them I went through the depression etc a while ago and through reading and heaps of support have managed to get myself into a better place emotionaly.
And that my friends is how DB'ing has realy worked for me. Regardless of what happens from here on out. I read that when I first started and thought, How could you end up happy if you did not succeed in preventing your W ( or H ) leave. How could that be its just too hard to even consider?
And here I am , Seperated and Happy . Not what I wanted but I have survived . I still hope for a whole family but I know I am going to be OK whatever is ahead.
Thank you all my friends who have shown such great support , its not over yet.
