It’s been some time since I have been here. The names have really changed. For those of you who had been following my saga, I’ve been separated from my wife since last September, and since late November have been preparing to deploy to Iraq as a reservist. Training and lack of a computer kept me from posting as often as I’d like.
Well, I’ve been in Iraq for about 10 days now. It’s a meaningful job with a lot of opportunity to positively impact soldiers, so my mind has been focused mostly on my job here, and very little thought has been focused on my W or our situation. I won’t go through all of the gruesome details of how we became separated, but it’s been 10 months….6 of which I have been away from home gearing for Iraq. Truth be known, I volunteered to come here so that I could get my mind off of the separation…It was my way of really “GAL”, and it has worked pretty well. I was really in the doldrums. I was living 5 miles away from my house in a one room garage apartment with no stove. Unbelievably depressing. I went to work, and every other day, visited my kids and cooked dinner for them while. W. stayed at work or went somewhere else. It was awful. IT was awkward, depressing and sad for all (except W.) Since I left, I feel a lot better emotionally, and feel great about the soldiers I work with and the importance of what we do ( put your personal feelings about the war aside. I have. We’re here for each other…that’s it).
I’ll be here for one year, with my official start date being around August 8th.
There has been little contact with W. I will email her and my daughter who is still at home regularly. She never really responds. I did call home for the first time this week since I got out of Kuwait and into Iraq. She was pleasant and actually did some talking. Those of you who kept up with my saga, remember that my W. could blow up at any time for any reason. Not finding a hockey jersey to me putting a utensil in the wrong drawer after I stayed with the kids during the week.
There has been no hint of any kind on her part that she may consider reconciliation. You may recall my oldest daughter is at a school in Utah because she was so out of control at home. She is still there. Seven months now.
I cannot get beyond how awkward it is to even speak to W. much less consider how it would be when I went home. It’s over a year until I get back to the States, and I expect nothing to change. I have not been Dbing at all, and she has not been writing at all. I’m pretty detached because of my total removal from the environment. Certainly “escapism” , and I’ll have to face the inevitable when I return. D16 is coming home from her school in Utah. She, W., D14, S9 are driving to FIL’s house at the beach for D16’s birthday. Before I left, W. seemed to be having an emotional affair with her boss, who seems happily married and is about 65. W. is 48. He “validates” her importance……….. I miss my kids…..That’s about it. I have little hope at this point.Whatever…….
I’d like to hear from some of my old friend when you get a second.
