Thanks for the advice with the S. I don't take too much of it to heart, basically if I asked him if he meet bigbird today, he would probably say yes. He has his nights, sometimes W says crying for me, sometimes he is crying for her. Sad defiently, but I'm doing all I can to keep up the DB'ing.
I wanted to add something about the 180. It is now 4th time I have read that section through. Have I been mistaken or what, I thought it meant to do the opposite according to the sitch. But, I need to do the opposite of what got me here. I have been reading the journal a lot and find that when I am there for her, she responds well, when I am busy or distant she turns to other sources. This is one of her largest complaints. So I have to not put a timeline on this, as in pre and post seperation. This includes pre as well when analyzing the 180 choices. So I cancelled, well W thinks, a weekend trip this weekend. I was heading out with the guys, but one had a bad dirt bike accident and is out of commission. So the weekend is cancelled, but I played it off as if I wanted to be here and with S, she was pleased. I don't want to be door mate, but I really think that if I let her run, keep her out of my mind, and when she does call, I can help or do what she needs, she really turns. At this point I'm willing to do anything to see the positives and I just want things to work.
The really amazing part about DB'ing is that is isn't so much you see who your friends are, but you see which one's support or think clearly about what your saying. My sister is amazing at analyzing this and great support and help, my parents are nuts and basically give the worst advice. I have one friend who is going through a D and I hate to say this, but it is one that needs to happen. There is no one that thinks diffrently on this, but he doesn't get it, trying to avoid him because it doesn't help, have told him to support, but he still doesn't get it. Sort of hard when you have known the guy since kids, but I can't have any negativity in my life right now.
Well tomorrow should be fun, it is the classic art stroll. Not really an art person, but have a lot of artist friends, and the people watching is worth all of it. Plus they end up completely wasted and some fun stuff will happen. Later everyone is going to a friends just down the street, so it will be a good night, I'm excited.
