Nikki - As i understand it, your sitch would be fairly simple by CA community property laws. Since you bought the house together and both names are on the title, all the equity in that would be joint property. (With the possible exception of down payment money if that was brought into the marriage by one partner and kept separate). All other assets bought since the marriage like cars, etc. would also be joint property (unless bought with an inheritance that was kept separate from joint marital funds). Same for savings etc.
Since you're both employed and there's no kids, I don't know if you would qualify for any alimony. Maybe the disability would help some with that. Dust in the Wind would be up on that part of the law.
Don't let him guilt you out of your fair share, either, if it comes to that. Community property laws recognize that a marriage is a joint venture, and that both parties contribute in ways tangible and intangible to the success of that enterprise. (For instance, I "mommy tracked" my career so that my kids could have better parenting and that also freed my H to pursue his career in a more competitive way. OF COURSE I'm entitled to half if he leaves!!!! Just based on loads of laundry completed alone!! )
Do you think he was funny about your friends dropping you off because he thought it might be a guy????
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