CVA - Thread 2, Hold mode

[Not Much Left]

Thanks WAW. D and I really have a lot of love between us. We are very affectionate toward each other. It is so much "easier" to do boy stuff and w/ 3 boys, they are so agressive about wanting my attention they tend to get it more!

Journaling on the plane!
S9 called me while W was out at the store. Asked me "how were your meetings dad, were they good meetings?, how did they go!!!". Wow, he knows in his heart how much it means to me to just ask me how my day went. He is going out of his way to make me feel good, not really caring what the answer is, just because he loves his Dad!

After talking w/ the boys, daughter was busy, I called W to see how the day went not knowing if i would have a chance to talk to her at all before it got too late after flying around. Ok, I shouldnt have called her, but I did. Upbeat convo, nothing big at all as she was at the store.

I landed in Montreal on my way to
Calgary and after a delay, thought i would call and talk to D11 and say goodnight. W answers and says "hi? I thought you were on a plane?". They were eating dinner. A little chitchat w/ kids and W gets on the phone again. Here is where I did not do as good a job as last night. She gets back on because her BFF was calling and said she needed to call her back. I guess I was unclear she needed to do it quickly. Apparently, BFF was going to come over for dinner w/ her kids. This is the strange part. She first says that BFF is not coming over cuz BFF's kids had not had a nap. So I am confused, why the big rush to call her back? I make the mistake of asking her if she is intersted in how it went today? I know bad idea. She says the dreaded "I guess, i need to call BFF back"/ read, no not really, my friend is more important than you!. At this point I finally get it and say "ok, have a good night. Bye". Stupid interaction on my part. I guess i am still longing for something to come from her but my stupidity about the sitch gets in the way. Won't happen again.

I am sure she felt "pressure" to respond to me in a positive light and i really think most of her non-response is not deliberate, just that she dealing with kids and that is how she is. She actually has to "work" to ask about others so...and right now i am not high on the priority list anyway.

I am in Calgay and Vancouver tomorrow and going to take the red-eye back to Htown as i really want to see the kids Saturday and if i dont také the red-eye, i wont be back till late afternoon.

I guess i could think of worse places to fly to, Vancouver is beautiful.

My plan for next week is to do something with each kid individually one night at a time. I know for sure that it will be big to them. When D and did a father daughter night out at our Church it was very important inher memory (and mine). It was 4 yrs ago and she still has the card from that night on her bookshelf!

How stupid have i been for not doing this all along, not treating my wife like the piece of fine china that she is, and acting like the world revolves around me. All the pain i was in is no excuse, just a lame reason i used to rationalize my ranting and raving. Well, working on all that now!

Cva out