Dave, I think you are handling things fantastic. I have been a ghost lately, but wanted to check back in on you. Your advice on my thread has been wonderful and have taken much to heart in my own life. It certainly sounds like your w is ready to blow. As you once told me, remain consistant in what you are doing, which seems to be working. I am glad you are looking after the kids so well, I certainly can understand the GAL taking a downturn with the responsibility. Part of my GAL plan is with ss and has been good so far, although w gets a little jealous. Keep it up brother, sending lots of positive energy your way.
Reading this thread has honestly given me a personal pep talk that I can be calm and forward thinking too. Thank you for sharing like you have!
I also have responsibility of our kids (4 and 2.5) about 95% of the time. I recently found http://www.meetup.com . It's not a singles sight but rather a place that peopel can self organized based on location and interest. For instance I just joined a rock climbing group and hiking group for when I do have time to myself, but I've joined a couple parent outing groups that do things like bike rides on trails or tubing/swimming and so on. Just watch out for the ones that talk about single parents/newly single. I've heard many tall tales about those groups
Me: 28 H: 29 Married 5 yrs Two sweet and ornery little ones 4 and 2.5
Great to hear from you and thanks for the support.
Mamadrama
Thanks for looking in and the link. My GAL activity is not restricted by lack of activities but lack of time , I am involved in Hot Rodding, Motorcycling both road and trackdays plus I have a dirtbike plus kids activities ... etc. Perhaps one day I may have to find some non boy type activities to meet new people but not right now.
I have just read back through this whole thread , something I would encourage anyone do and that is to go back through thier own threads.
A lot of water has passed under the bridge in a short time. Its interesting to see the change in W over the last 3 weeks. She started out agonising about leaving. Made the decision and moved , at first it was like a big adventure , she seemed a lot happier and was getting involved in family stuff. As the days have gone on ( and its only been 2 weeks) she has grown unhappier and is probably as troubled now as I have ever seen her. I am thinking her unhappyness has followed her and her attempt at exorcising the perceived source of that unhappyness (me) has not worked too well.
The moral of the story is that we should all be careful about was we wish for , just incase we get it.
. . . the moral of the story is that, when you think you've run away from your problems but find they're still there w/you, the problems may not be something or anything else. It may be you. Look inside yourself.
Hope W does, C.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
I realy am worried about her , I spent some time tonight with some close friends and it was great , they also see W heading for a crash. Now this may seem crazy , given the ultimate goal of having my family back together , but I hope W takes plenty of time to get her life together , I would love to see her go to a C , but dont see it happening. I actualy dont want her to come back right now as I know it would be for all the wrong reasons. Now isnt that a turn around? it was not long ago I was freting about her leaving. I dont even know about long term , there is just going to be so much to deal with it almost seems overwhelming . I dont even know how to express how I feel right now , I have been giving so much on an empty tank for so long and now I dont have to.
I got my hair cut today and I have been going to the same place for a few years, My Hairdresser who is a lovely lady always askes abouth the family and I told her about the split. She was quite shocked , and said but you seem so happy , I said I am happy in myself. My friends tonight again surprised at how I seemed Happy , I told them I went through the depression etc a while ago and through reading and heaps of support have managed to get myself into a better place emotionaly.
And that my friends is how DB'ing has realy worked for me. Regardless of what happens from here on out. I read that when I first started and thought, How could you end up happy if you did not succeed in preventing your W ( or H ) leave. How could that be its just too hard to even consider?
And here I am , Seperated and Happy . Not what I wanted but I have survived . I still hope for a whole family but I know I am going to be OK whatever is ahead.
Thank you all my friends who have shown such great support , its not over yet.
We are all a work in progress. Thank you for being here for me, and for others. As you said. . . it's not over. j
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
Your not wanting your W back now doesn't sound crazy at all. And I know that I saw somewhere last night someone (how's that for vague, but I swear it's true) that her marriage didn't start to turn around until her H hit rock bottom. Hope still remains.
Congrats on getting yourself into a good place and keep it up.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Thanks for letting me know that BD , there is always hope .
But now I am enjoying life , Toaday it stopped raining ! so was able to get out on the Bike with some buddys , it was a good afternoon. Tonight W dropped D off and invited herself for dinner . I watched a movie with D and she is off reading Harry Potter book. I have Neil Young on the big screen right now , Way too loud but theres no one here to tell me to turn it down Didnt have a lot of interaction with W
